So, when thinking about what to post this week, I was doing my casual google search for inspiration and saw an idea by a blog called Beauty and Cherries that suggested writing about being a woman in your 20s. Seeing as I am not a woman in her 20s, I’m still a year and a bit away from even turning 20, I couldn’t do that post. However, I did take some inspiration from it, giving me the idea to reflect on my life growing up as a female.
I’ve always been happy with my gender. I’ve never struggled with my gender identity and am comfortable with who I am regarding being female and she/her pronouns. However, I have never been one to follow to strict stereotypes of being a girl. For example, when I was growing up, I had a stage where I refused to like pink because I didn’t like that it was assumed to be my favourite colour just because of my gender. Growing up with a sister who loved pink also led me to want to rebel against the colour even more. Whenever I got a new piece of clothing etc, I would have it in any colour besides pink. I remember a raincoat I had once when I was probably about 8, I had to get the boy’s version in navy blue because the only option in the girl’s section was bright pink. As I also have had to share my bedroom for almost 15 years, with my sister who still to this day loves pink, I grew up in a bubblegum pink room, with pink bed linen, pink furniture and almost everything you could think of being pink. I never liked it one bit, so when I was old enough to help my mum redecorate my room, I chose the colours. We had light sky blue walls with two plain white walls, blue and white bed linen with a hint of pink and white/cream furniture. And I loved it! It made the room seem so much more grown up and less harsh on the eyes, as well as making it look so much bigger. I won’t deny it, I’m still not a huge pink fan. If I was to chose between blue and pink the answer would always be blue, but I am not as bad as I used to be. I simply chose to not wear pink now, as I am much more comfortable in other colours and feel like it doesn’t fit me as a person. I don’t refuse to own anything pink, it may just sometimes be a coincidence.
Even though my hatred for the colour pink as a child led me to chose the typical boy colours, I still loved to play with Barbies, dolls, Polly Pockets and Sylvanian Families (which were my absolute favourites). But don’t get the wrong impression of me. My favourite dolls were boys, my favourite being Baby Benjamin. I also had a very large amount of male Polly Pockets and I only liked Sylvanian Families because they were cute animals.
Another thing I noticed about growing up, is that to begin with, I didn’t care who I was friends regarding gender. I had two best friends when I first started school and they were both male. We remained friends throughout primary school but as I started to grow older, I got more female friends as more of a divide was developed between girls and boys. This divide wasn’t anyone in particular’s fault, but just the view of society that girls should be friends with girls and boys with boys. The first year of high school was absolute disaster for me concerning making friends regardless of gender. It isn’t easy to make friends with immature preteen boys who think it’s funny to ask a girl out for a joke. The amount of times someone came up to me saying that their friend wanted to go out with me, and the amount of times that I kept walking and gave them a sarcastic comment amazes me. It breaks your trust. I think this has led me up to where I am now. I have zero male friends. Not one. And it sucks, but I don’t believe I can fully trust them, all because of some douchy 12 year olds. If only I stayed friends with those two boys from reception and maybe my life would be so much different. For one, I wouldn’t have been stuck with a bunch of bitchy girls who cared more about their makeup than anyone else’s feelings. I’m not saying all girls are like this and that I didn’t like having female friends, I was actually friends with so many genuinely nice girls, some I’m still in touch with, others I wish I still spoke to.
A lot of people are aware of the belief that if a male/boy picks on a girl, it means they like them. Not true. This is something that really infuriated me in high school because there were always people who would do what seems like the smallest actions just to wind me up and my friends would make fun of me, making comments about how this person ‘fancied me’. This isn’t a way of flirting. It’s what they consider to be entertainment for their small minds. Throwing my pens across the room is funny apparently, and taking my things and holding it where I can’t reach. Hilarious! Over the years though, I grew some lady balls and started to stand up for myself so I wasn’t considered the little pushover girl. One time, there was someone who I knew had a little thing for me, who made a comment about something that my school was doing, saying it was something only for stupid people. I showed him that, just because I was small and a girl, I wasn’t accepting comments like that. With him having absolutely no idea that I was, a) taking part in the activity or b) even listening to what he was saying, I turned around and defended myself, asking if he thought I was stupid, and finally making him stumble over his words trying to dig himself out of that hole. One of my proudest moments, I must say.
I am still not what you would consider the stereotypical girly girl, I mean, I wrote this while watching Deadpool with no makeup on and my hair all disgusting. But society now is breaking down the gender roles and I am all for that. And females are becoming more equal to males and I am also all for this. If you take two things from this post, please let them be, 1) don’t teach your children that being mean is a sign of flirting, and 2) don’t take a dude’s s**t because you’re a girl.
Slightly ranty towards the end, but I got really into it. Leave me amy comments you have on the subject!
That’s me over and out!